kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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