How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
