there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
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