seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
