so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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