hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
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Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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