Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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