I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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