u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Boobs are out for the taking
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
