You can't special order awesome
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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