I CAN MOONWALK!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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