i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
