I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
