FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
