but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
