im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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