Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
