So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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