i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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