after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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