How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
