dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
