I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
