I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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