i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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