D3 body, D1 cock
literally had 100 drinks last night.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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