The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
