wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You've changed since you got that strap on
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
