ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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