dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
