its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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