Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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