I want to have your abortion
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
