This is not my ceiling
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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