rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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