can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she looked like the before picture.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
