So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
