she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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