some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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