apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
