Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
