True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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