There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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