Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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