she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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