Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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