I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
