I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
