Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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