Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
