It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
