Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
