i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
