why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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