Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
