Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
