Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
