do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
