btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
