Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
