take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
