i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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