I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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