First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
